Mental Health Ofrenda: How to Practice Self-Care When Supporting Loved Ones with Mental Illnesses or Challenges

Support for Austin Vida’s mental health coverage is made possible by the Ortiz Therapy Group.

Mis queridos familiares y amistades,

¿Cómo les ha ido? How are the sunshine and lluvia treating y’all? ¿Y cómo están sus seres queridos? How are your loved ones? At any point in time, there are folks in our lives doing well and others not so much. I’m reminded that being “well,” is not a permanent destination but, rather, a state of being that is complex and is made up of many different factors, some we can control and others we cannot.

A while back, I was in conversation with Nancy, Austin Vida’s fierce and brilliant editor and publisher, and the topic of loved ones caring for folks with mental illnesses or challenges came up. I thought about my own beautiful and kind wife, Tesia, who has stood by me as I struggle with depression, anxiety, and even suicidal ideation. I thought about her córazon and espiritu and what she has shared with me about the times when she has taken care of me in the past.

In Dec. 2021, I left a job after struggling for months with new anti-depressant medications and suicidal ideation. I was so scared to rely on Tesia and felt guilty for leaving my job, but I knew that it was the necessary choice for me to make at the moment. During this season of my life, Tesia was there for me but, ultimately, could not save, fix, or make me better all on her own. She needed to care for herself and I needed multiple people and resources. 

As familiares o seres queridos to someone with a mental illness or challenges, we may feel a deep responsibility to care for that person and help them feel better. The weight of this responsibility can feel heavy, scary, and leave us with our own well of sadness. As I write this, I think about mis seres queridos who struggle with depression, anxiety, and more. I realize that the aching in my chest is a heavy mix of worry, fear, sadness, love, and tenderness. Quizás tú también lo sientes. I’m here with you. Tu y yo nos tenemos que cuidar, querido/a/x.

Mi Ofrenda Para Ti

Quiero empezar con decirte algo muy importante: tú no eres responsable por la salud mental de un ser querido. You are not responsible for the mental health of a loved one. We must remember that mental wellness (and overall wellbeing) are complicated and require a variety of people, resources, professionals, and more. I want to share some assurances with you:

• Tu salud mental importa también. Your mental health matters, too. Queridx, te tienes que cuidar. Caring for someone with a mental illness is challenging, so if you need to seek your own mental health support, do it. Your salud matters, too. 
• Comparte la responsabilidad de cuidar a un ser querido con una enfermedad mental. Share the responsibility of taking care of a loved one with a mental illness.  If you have not done so already, share about what’s happening with one or more trusted family members or friends who can help support your loved one in their time of need. Make a plan, together, for how you will support your loved one.
• Se flexible y creativo con el apoyo que das. Be flexible and creative with the support you give. While the emotional and mental support are important, the practical day to day help is also powerful. Maybe your loved one is struggling to cook, do laundry, keep their room/home clean, etc. These are some wonderful ways to support them!
• Recuerda tus recursos locales o virtuales. Remember your local or virtual resources.
  • NAMI Connection Recovery Support Group: FREE support group for adults experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition.  
  • NAMI Family Support Group: FREE group for adults with a loved one who is experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition. 
  • Adult and Youth Mental Health First Aid courses 
  • Caminos de sanación mental: Kit de herramientas de salud mental
  • Pathways to Mental Healing: Mental Health Toolkit

Tómalo un dia a la vez. Take it one day at a time. We’re in this together, familia.

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Gentle note: Sometimes we need a little help. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis, including thoughts of self-harm or suicide, or is simply having a tough time, consider reaching out to the following resources. No estas solx.

Si quieres ayuda / if you want help:

• Llama 988 y presiona 2 para Servicios en español. Para iniciar una conversación de mensaje de texto en español, envía la palabra AYUDA a 988.
• For deaf and hard of hearing people, you can reach out to 988 Videophone with a Videophone number. If you do not have one, check out these resources.
• Dial or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

You can also text HOME to 741741 to connect with the Crisis Text Line.

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A message from our Mental Health sponsor:

At Ortiz Therapy Group, we’re passionate about people sharing their stories and acknowledge the privilege it is when they’re shared with us.
En Ortiz Therapy Group, nos apasiona que las personas compartan sus historias y reconocemos el privilegio que es cuando las comparten con nosotros.