Mental Health Ofrenda: Letting Go of Expectations

Mis queridos familiares y amistades,

The end of the year is a time of… expectations. Expectations for ourselves, for others, and for what the holidays might be like. Why do we put so much damn pressure on ourselves and others? Why does the comida have to be perfect and the casita full of presents?

Maybe this time of year brings emptiness or melancholy. Maybe this time of year reminds you of what or who is missing, what is wrong, or what is painful to think about. Yo te entiendo. I can empathize with those feelings.

In recent years during this season, my body needs more time to sleep and rest. Whether or not I like it, I often need to slow down and look inward. I have a bad habit of agreeing to way too many commitments and thinking I have the time and energy for more projects than I can handle. I can almost hear my mami say que me gusta la mala vida.

What if I let myself be imperfect?

I am actively working on embracing the concept of quality over quantity. I’m hard on myself. My partner calls my overthinking “circle-thinking.” I obsess over what needs to get done, what I have not done, what I can do better, and what I am ‘supposed’ to be doing. This anxiety and internalized perfectionism cause me to feel inadequate and unworthy of people’s love.

So what if I let myself be imperfect? What if I saw that one friend once this entire year but made sure to be attentive and affirming when I spent time with them? What if I let myself be present for family gatherings as long as I can and then let myself leave when my body asks for rest? What if I let myself leave a job earlier than I hoped to? What if I cut myself some damn slack?

Do you need to let yourself be imperfect, too? Está bien – there is grace and space for you to show up just as you are. Eres bienvenidx.

Mi ofrenda para ti

We are exactly where we are and that is okay. Maybe during this season we can make some room for letting our perspectives and energies shift. Quizás podemos esperar algo bueno en esta temporada. Perhaps we honor our limitations, needs, and feelings during this season. Perhaps our mere existence (in all its miraculousness) is celebration enough.

Para ti, familia, te ofrezco compasión. I offer you understanding and warmth wherever you find yourself emotionally, mentally, and spiritually..

If you are expecting money, energy, and resources to be abundant, may you consider sharing and offering to others around you.
If you are expecting money, energy, and resources to be lacking, may you be blessed with what you need during this holiday season.
If you are expecting this season to be painful or challenging, may you find warmth in the everyday beauties life has to offer.
If you are expecting yourself to say yes to too much, may you prioritize your well-being and find the courage to say yes to rest.
If you are expecting to feel alone or empty, may you find comfort in knowing that I am here and that you are not actually alone.

Cuídate. Tómate un cafecito. Go on a short walk. Go outside and observe all of nature’s gifts. You yourself, right here, are enough. May you find joy and be at peace.

Gentle note: Sometimes we need a little help. If you or someone you know is considering self-harm, suicide, or is simply having a tough time, consider reaching out to the following numbers. No estas solx.

Si quieres ayuda / if you want help: